Hmmm . . . where to begin. Chloe is now 6 months old. I still feel and look like I am entering my second trimester, so it's time. It's time to make some changes. I read an article in Oprah by Martha Beck that really talked about changing the way you view food and dieting. It was my light bulb moment. It really intrigued me, so I bought the book "The Four Day Win" by Martha Beck. I am reading it slowly and it is making me connect with my thoughts and feelings, so I am spending less time eating to erase feelings. It's great. I have stopped my lunch time desserts. I would eat Reese's peanut butter cups regardless of what I ate for lunch. I could be stuffed, but I would crave this as a finality to my lunch. Guess what! I am bored to death at work. I acknowledged that and I stopped the candy. I'm not sure how I got there, but it happened. I am going back to reread chapters 3 - 10 before completing the rest of the book, because these are foundational chapters. It is really interesting.
Today, I decided to move my body. So, I'm going to try T-Tapp again. I'm making some mental changes and this seems like a good time to restart this exercise. It's really hard, but it has worked for me in the past. I am such an overachiever that I always try to do too much, but not today. When I felt fatigued ( because I was pushing too much), I stopped. I congratulated myself on the work accomplished and took a shower. Nice. Martha Beck may be an actual genius.
I am moving towards a place where I am happy with me. It's not easy to accept myself as is, but this inability to love myself generously is what stands in my way. This book is helping me to see that I am my most harshest critic. I am too judgmental and it is damaging to my own sense of being. Heck, the next 40 years are going to be so cool. Stay tuned.
